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Spiritually Suing, How can I file an insurance claim against God?

ΚΑΛΛΊΣΤῌ asked:


I’m pretty sure he zapped my plasma screen tv last night. I had just yelled an obscenity at Pat Robertson while watching the 700 Club show…

So, where do I send the paperwork?

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 27th, 2009 at 4:16 pm and is filed under Religion Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

17 Responses to “Spiritually Suing, How can I file an insurance claim against God?”

  1. Contractor Insurance Manhattan NY says:
    November 30, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    give it to the girl that jogs by while your husbands mowing the lawn……

  2. Contractor Insurance Talladega AL says:
    December 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    I hear that praying to Mary is a good way to get Jesus to notice you quicker

  3. Contractor Workers Comp Insurance Northern NJ says:
    December 5, 2009 at 1:50 am

    good luck on that one

  4. Contractor Workers Comp Insurance Denver CO says:
    December 5, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    You need to send it to His representatives (the church, mosque or temple etc.). To be on the safe side send it to ALL of them.

  5. Roll Off Laredo says:
    December 8, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Pat Robertson is a tool. God zapped your screen for watching The 700 Club.

  6. Roll Off Staten Island says:
    December 11, 2009 at 5:05 am

    You can’t file insurance claims on things that aren’t real. It was probably just the lightning with the same Pat Robertson problem as you.

  7. Roll Off San Angelo says:
    December 12, 2009 at 5:05 am

    Have fun trying to collect the judgment. LOL

  8. Roll Off MidlandOdessa says:
    December 13, 2009 at 6:43 am

    You can send the claims to this address:

    8655 Explorer Dr.
    Colorado Springs, CO 80920

    Be sure to tell them Goddidit.

  9. SEO NJ says:
    December 13, 2009 at 6:54 am

    The same place where I will send my acceptance to be your nominee in the claim … just in case it doesn’t take that long for the earthly verdict.

  10. Roll Off Killeen says:
    December 15, 2009 at 2:01 am

    Um, well, I don’t think it was God who zapped your TV…Yelling obscenities at Pat Robertson would certainly anger the one he’s being truly controlled by. Next time Satan comes to my house, I’ll tell him you want to talk to him about your zapped plasma screen. If God was going to do anything about it, he would have rewarded you….LOL!!!

  11. Contractor Insurance Central NJ says:
    December 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    It’s your fault your TV wasn’t build to withstand the massive stupidity of Pat Robertson, next time buy a Pat Robertson resistant TV™

  12. Contractor Insurance Boulder CO says:
    December 19, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    God aside ( if that were even possible) you simply MUST buy the insurance policy against the act BEFORE the act occurs.

    But wait!…………….there is a an attorney in Kansas…………….who takes such cases.

    If you can pay, others will play.

  13. says:
    December 19, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    Give it up. He’s got better lawyers.

  14. Contractor Insurance Lake Tahoe says:
    December 21, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    If Pat Robertson predicted that it would happen then there is nothing you can do.

  15. Contractor Insurance Gainesville FL says:
    December 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Email it to his secretary at

  16. Roll Off Alexandria VA says:
    December 26, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Sue you’re local Church, that’s the house of God, isn’t it? ;D

  17. Contractor Insurance Aurora CO says:
    December 27, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    And just WHOM gave you permission to even watch tv in the first place ??? You were told not to come out of the bedroom,wench.

    He’s got better lawyers,and since Johnny Cochran died, you’re screwed.

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